The following story is a very personal one. It reflects my journey with God and my growth of knowing Him as my Heavenly Father. This story is written by me and is subject to copyright. The story also reflects God’s grace towards us, which was made possible by Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for our sins. So, without further adieu, here is a story about a struggling daughter and her loving father.
In His Hands
By: Sarah Fox
The sky was darker than the deep void within her soul. A great mist covered the rest of the skyline, making the atmosphere feel moist. The city seemed abandoned, seeing that there were no cars driving on the roads. The trees swayed violently in the harsh gusts of wind. A storm was on the horizon. She gazed at the moon from her bedroom window. The insomnia was overtaking her body. Time seemed to move faster whenever she checked the clock. The tears kept flowing from her eyes. Agony washed over her like a tidal wave hitting the sharp rocks on the shore. Her heart felt heavier than a block of steel.
I can’t wake him up, she thought to herself. She knew that her father was tired from a long day’s work. Although she knew he wouldn’t mind, she still felt uncomfortable about laying her burdens on him. She wanted to please him more than anything. The last thing she wanted was to hurt or worry him. After a few minutes of contemplating her next move, she finally decided to go to her father.
Her hands were shaking as she went to knock on his bedroom door. Should I just turn back and wait until morning? Just as she turned to leave, the door opened slightly. She turned around quickly to see her father standing behind the door. He rubbed the exhaustion from his eyes and blinked slowly.
“Sorry to wake you. I just wanted to talk,” she said as she rubbed her left arm with her right hand.
“Come in,” he said with a gentle smile.
She followed him into the room and sat down on the bed. She waited until he was situated before she spoke her peace.
“What’s troubling you, my dear?” he asked as he moved closer to her.
She shifted in her spot and tapped her fingers on her legs. Her heart was beating rapidly. She took short breaths as she tried to calm herself down.
“You can tell me anything,” her father said as he placed his hand on her forearm.
“I’m just overwhelmed, Abba,” she said as the tears ran down her cheeks.
He wiped away the tears with his gentle hands. He wrapped his arms around her as she sobbed into his chest. He could feel the pain as he heard her sobs. He caressed her back and rocked her in his arms. He ran his fingers through her hair and placed soft kisses on the crown of her head. Although there were no words to describe her strife, he knew exactly what she needed.
She didn’t need criticism. She didn’t need “bumper sticker faith.” She didn’t need pity. She didn’t need an escape into some fantasy world. She just needed a listening ear and a loving heart. He was her refuge. He was her strong tower against the wiles of the enemy. No matter what weapons life threw at her, she knew that her father would always be there to defend her. The stillness of the room calmed her spirit. Once she stopped weeping, she looked up at him.
“Abba?” the young girl called.
“Yes, my dear,” he answered as he laid his hand on her cheek.
“I’m so sorry,” she said as she fought back more tears.
He furrowed his brow. “What do you have to be sorry for?”
“I’m sorry for taking you for granted. I’m selfish with my time. I waste my time chasing after things in order to fill my insatiable desires. I strive to be known by others instead of getting to know you. I allow the Devil to steal my joy and kill my spirit, and the list goes on. All I long to do is please you, Father.
I want to be close to you and I want to glorify you with my entire life. I just lose track of you too often. Instead of seeking your approval, I seek validation from others. Instead of moving forward into the future, I dwell on the past. I’m grieving because I keep failing you. How can I show you how much I love you? I’m so lost.”
He chuckled quietly as he cupped her face in his hands. “My darling, you need to rest. You don’t have to work for my approval; you are already accepted by me. I love you more than you could ever imagine. You are mine and no matter what happens, I will never stop loving you.
Yes, you do have the tendency to stray away from me. You do get distracted and give your time to other pleasures of this world. I have to admit that I get jealous at times, but I’m always here for you. I know that you have a heart for my kingdom, but you allow the troubles of this world to choke your soul. Listen to me when I say this: You need to be still and know that I am your Father. You have to trust me. I have great plans for you. I need you to let my will be done in your life. I want you to prosper. Why don’t you believe that?”
“I’m scared, Abba. I have my own plans and I just want to see them come to pass. What if they don’t happen?”
“Do you trust me?” He asked in a gentle tone.
She pondered the question for a moment. She knew that she was loved by him. She knew that he would never lead her astray. What could be holding her back? Was it the fear of getting hurt again? Was it the disappointment of shattered dreams? All she had to do was believe in his goodness.
“Help me to trust you, Abba Father. I don’t want to lose sight of you.”
“I will. The journey will be tedious, so you have to fight in the war of life. I will fight with you. This war is not yours, it’s mine. All you have to do is stand firm and let me do the rest. Speaking of rest, I think you should be heading to bed now. You need your sleep, dear one. I love you so much, never forget that,” he said as he gave her a warm hug.
“Can I stay here for a few more minutes?” She asked as she laid her head in his bosom.
He chuckled softly. “Of course you can.”
And with that, she spent the night safe and secure in his hands.
But he was pierced for our transgressions;
he was crushed for our iniquities;
upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,
and with his wounds we are healed.
-Isaiah 53:5 (ESV)