My Fight

Bipolar Disorder is a roller coaster.

One minute you’re up, the next minute you’re down. It’s very unpredictable.

Mania 😄: a feeling of endless bliss. You feel invincible, you talk at rapid speeds, you feel like a deity, nothing bothers you. You’re more likely to start multiple projects, you plan five years into the future, you get very creative.

Depression 😢: You feel very heavy. The world seems like it’s crushing you. You can’t sleep, you can’t get out of bed, your energy is depleting by the minute, and you feel like you’re better off leaving this earth.

With bipolar, especially in mixed episodes, you’re feeling all these emotions at the same time. For me, bipolar 1 makes these feelings more severe. When I’m manic, I’m extremely manic. When I’m depressed, I’m severely depressed. There’s no in between. It’s all or nothing.

When I first got diagnosed, I had no idea what to expect. I had little guidance because no one in my family had to deal with this before.

That’s why I’m a mental health advocate. I don’t want others to feel like they’re thrown into the fire with no way of escaping. I want to be a resource and provide resources to those who are struggling like I am. This is not something that just goes away. It’s a daily struggle that need not to be taken lightly.

This is why I fight. This is why I heal. I want to give hope to the hopeless and information to the clueless. I’m not the poster child for bipolar, but I can be a light for those who feel like they can’t go on.

This is my fight. This is my story. This is my journey with bipolar 1 disorder. What’s your story? Why do you fight?